little update

not so little life.

after a rough start to the year which i guess was pretty obvious from some of my pieces, my life has started to go the complete other way, I’ve healed, I’ve moved on, I’m loving a whole new love, i have an amazing new job and appreciating my friends more then ever. 

just goes to show you to never give up when things get rough.

always stay along for the ride.

xxxo

2011, What I’ve Learnt so far.

After someone you love is taken from you:

Don’t pursue relationships to forget, get over or fill the void.

It won’t make you forget him, and you run the chance of letting people you wouldn’t normally become close to you and you can hurt someone that might fall in love with you along the way and could be shutting the door permanently to a relationship that might have worked in the future.

Don’t fill the emptiness with one night stands.

Choosing to let people sleep with you so your nights aren’t lonely is destructive, can have serious health implications and still leaves you empty.

There is no right or wrong way to get over someone.

Sometimes drowning yourself in memories, scents, music and places might keep you depressed longer and sometimes ignoring those feelings can make you feel even worse.

In the end you have to choose to be happy and choose to move on, how long it takes you is up to your heart, usually your will to live on kicks in and eventually you move on. For some people it can be quick, others it can take years.

Accept life isn’t always fair.

Sometimes it’s so hard to move on when its over something that is plain and simply unfair. Once you accept that things just don’t always work out like they should be allowed to it can help a little bit. 

Life is not black and white.

Remember that there is not always going to be a yes or no or 100% in life. Sometimes not all loose ends are tied up and not all questions will be answered. 

Hope.

Hope can be what keeps you living but it can also be a bad thing, keeping expectations or the hope of getting to be with the one you love can be destructive and drag out pain. 

Understand you life WILL always be a little different. 

You will always have the memories and as time goes by the feelings won’t hit you as hard but they will always be there. This doesn’t mean you can’t move on, live life and start new relationships and create new memories. 

Learn to focus on the positives.

Humans seem to have this astonishing ability to focus on the negatives. Regardless if you believe its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all, you did love, you did loose and now even if it makes you sad at times you should focus on the positives you did have and remember your living life and moving on so you can experience these again in new, better and stronger ways. 

Battle your body.

Try not to fix your heart by eating terrible food, don’t try and ignore your feelings by sleeping as much as you can and take care of your brain, look for signs of serious depression. Exercise and tan for endorphins and eat food that makes your feel good.

Fill your life with the right stuff.

Good friends, study, work, go on random adventures, try new things, go to a concert, find hobbies to not just fill time but build skills. Life has so many different ways of bringing joy and the only way to get it is to go out and do stuff! 

Live.

You never know what the future holds and thats reason enough to live. 

I’ve done all these things and 8 months have passed, I’ve learnt so much about myself and life. I made mistakes and i improved my life, I’ve spent a large amount of time with almost no will to live but I’ve also accomplished some amazing things because my way of thinking was while I’m still here i might as well do something with my time. It paid off because now I’m feeling much better, I’m still not 100% at peace with my loss but I’m starting to love life again much more often the feeling the opposite. 


3 years ago 1 ♥
So I got my first tattoo, took almost 4 hours and I think its an amazing piece. It’s the artwork from Kid Cudi’s Man on the Moon: The End of Day. 
It has a lot of personal meaning to me for a few reasons, one being a positive reminder of my first true love, who thanks to ignorance and fear was torn away from me and me from him. It also represents my never ending “pursuit of happiness”
Cudi is such an original and amazing artist, one who “speaks of vulnerabilities and other human emotions and issues never before heard so vividly and honest.”
Regardless of personal significance or if you even like his music or not the art itself is beautiful. 
A visual of the soundtrack 2 my life.

So I got my first tattoo, took almost 4 hours and I think its an amazing piece. It’s the artwork from Kid Cudi’s Man on the Moon: The End of Day. 

It has a lot of personal meaning to me for a few reasons, one being a positive reminder of my first true love, who thanks to ignorance and fear was torn away from me and me from him. It also represents my never ending “pursuit of happiness”

Cudi is such an original and amazing artist, one who “speaks of vulnerabilities and other human emotions and issues never before heard so vividly and honest.”

Regardless of personal significance or if you even like his music or not the art itself is beautiful. 

A visual of the soundtrack 2 my life.

today my sister had a costume day at school, i bought her costume and did her makeup and she won best dressed. pretty good makeup skills for someone that has put makeup on perhaps twice before.

today my sister had a costume day at school, i bought her costume and did her makeup and she won best dressed. pretty good makeup skills for someone that has put makeup on perhaps twice before.

feelings

i love to express all the bad ones here it seems. 

one week ago i got my first tattoo, its a piece of art. I will post a photo soon.

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy

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